By: Richelle Wenhem
I can still remember the moment. I was in the schoolyard when I heard the words: ‘Don’t play with her. She’s too fat’.
Content note: This blog shares personal reflections on body image, identity, and self-worth.
Year 4. Nine years old. And in one sentence, my world shifted.
I went home, walked straight to my room, and stared into the mirror – not with my own eyes, but with the eyes of someone who had just labelled me. That was the day I learned how quickly a few careless words can reshape your value, your confidence, your sense of worth.
And the truth is… many women know that moment. Maybe you’ve been called too fat, too thin, too plain, too pale, too much, not enough. Maybe someone has commented on your thighs, your skin, your nose, your hairline, your body shape – as if your body is public property.
Those words stick. They echo. They shape the way we walk into rooms.
When I started high school, I was quiet. Invisible. Not the cool kid. I didn’t wear my hair the right way or know the cool labels. Just a girl trying to find one kind face in a world obsessed with “hot” or “not.”
But here’s something I want you to know – especially if you’ve struggled with your body like I have:
Faith in Jesus can reshape the way you see yourself. A relationship with Him can free you from the opinions of others. He can teach you to love yourself without their permission.
I know this because I’ve lived on both sides of the pendulum.
1 Samuel 16:7 “People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
The Words That Broke Me – and the Determination That Followed
When I was a young teen, the boy I had a crush on told my friend he wouldn’t date me unless my “butt cheeks were ten times smaller.”
Ten. Times. Smaller.
Something snapped inside me – not in a healthy way, but in a determined way. Like so many teenage girls, I started watching what I ate. Then I started exercising. Then I started exercising twice a day. Running. Sit‑ups. Push‑ups. Walking. Strict Eating.
By 15, I was a size 10 – the fittest I had ever been. And I felt great.
But what started as revenge turned into something entirely different. It became about me – about discovering my own strength and reclaiming what had been taken from me. Along the way, I found a courage I didn’t know I had, and every step of it was Christ‑led.
I’d become a Christian a year or two earlier, at thirteen, and everything began to shift – my friends, my interests, even the way I saw myself. God was growing a strength in me I had never known before.
I eventually confronted that boy – but the truth is, I had already chosen to forgive him long before that moment. It was only through God’s peace that I was able to offer friendship instead of hurt or blame. And somehow, we did become friends. We even dated for a while. But forgiveness doesn’t erase memory, and the impact of those words didn’t magically disappear.
Then came a new wave of accusations, this time because of my changing body. When you’re overweight, people assume you’re careless. When you’re thin, suddenly they think you’re harming yourself.
“She must be throwing up.” “Are you throwing up?” “Has she stopped eating?” “Let me see you finish that fruit salad.”
I was honestly stunned. It felt like I couldn’t win. Fat meant rejection, thin meant suspicion. How is any woman meant to navigate that?
But in that moment, I chose what God was whispering to me: Choose My way. Ignore them. Keep going. I knew the truth – I was healthy, fit, and loving my life, even if others questioned it.
And here’s another twist no one warns you about:
Being rejected for your body hurts. But being accepted only because of your body? That can be just as damaging.
When ‘Beautiful’ Became a Burden
Suddenly, I was the opposite of invisible. Boys noticed me. People wanted to date me. And let me tell you – that kind of attention is intoxicating.
But it came with a cost.
People judged my Christian character because of how I looked. Girls kept their distance. Men objectified me. And by the time I got to university I felt pressure – suffocating pressure – to maintain an impossible standard so people would keep liking me.
I remember preparing a uni presentation I wasn’t confident about and thinking:
“It’s fine. I’ll just look amazing, so no one notices what I say.”
That’s not confidence. That’s captivity.
Being rejected for being overweight was hurtful and lonely. But being accepted only for beauty was just as empty. Neither version was or is freedom.
The Body Battle Doesn’t End- Even as an Adult
I’ve always struggled with my weight. Even now, as a plus-size mum, it fluctuates. Up. Down. Up again. And here’s something I’ve never said publicly:
When I focus on healthy eating, it’s shocking how quickly people comment. If I have one treat, one “off‑plan” moment, suddenly it’s:
“Ohhh, I thought you weren’t eating that?” “Is that allowed?” “Should you be having that?”
Even at my strictest, I still have cheat days. I’m human. I’m allowed to enjoy food. I need those moments. But those comments? They don’t help. They don’t motivate. They don’t support.
They shame.
So let me say this clearly:
If someone you love is trying to get healthy, don’t police them. Walk with them. Check in. Ask how they’re going. Pray for and with them. Encourage them. Love them. Don’t tease them. Don’t monitor them. Don’t make their plate your business.
We don’t need food critics. We need companions. And if they do need professional help, journey with them gently to the GP.
What God Taught Me About Beauty
After years of swinging between extremes – overweight, underweight, under pressure, over‑noticed, under‑valued – God finally whispered something that changed everything:
“Your beauty is not your body. Your beauty is My Spirit in you.”
2 Corinthians 4:16 “Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”
And that was my journey, God completely renewed the way I see body and my beauty no matter what size I am.
We are spiritual, supernatural beings made in the image of God – wrapped in human, fragile, imperfect bodies.
The most beautiful women I know? Their beauty has nothing to do with their appearance. It’s their kindness. Their courage. Their gentleness. Their wisdom. Their joy. Their faith.
That’s the kind of beauty that doesn’t wrinkle, stretch, sag, or fade. That’s the kind of beauty I want to be around.
1 Peter 3:3–4 “Your beauty… should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.”
So Here’s My Advice — From One Woman to Another
If you’ve been wounded by words…
If you’ve been judged by your body…
If you’ve been pressured to shrink or pressured to sparkle…
Hear me:
You are not a body with a soul. You are a soul with a body.
Your worth is not measured in kilos, calories, dress sizes, or compliments.
Your worth was set at the Cross. Unchanging. Unshakeable. Unconditional.
And if you’re on a health journey – physical, emotional, or spiritual – let people walk with you, not watch you.
Let them support you, not scrutinise you.
And above all, let Jesus define you – not the mirror, not the comments, not the culture.
Because big girls do cry. But big girls also rise. And with God, big girls overcome.
Article supplied with thanks to Rhema 99.7
About the Author: Richelle Wenhem is an announcer and content coordinator at Rhema 99.7, and mum of two children.
Feature image: Supplied
