Diagnosing greed and seeking God’s help with replacing it is one of the most important things that we can do.

Here are 5 questions to help you work out if you want more than you need:

Do you know what we do not talk about? Greed.

Do you know what we really do not talk about? Whether what we call “ambition” or “success” or “expansion” is, in fact, our own greed.

Do you know what we should talk about? 

“Greed is wanting more and pursuing more [in] a really selfish, intense way than what we need or deserve,” defined Pete Burrows.

“It’s going after it, perhaps to the exclusion of other things as well.”

Anchored in biblical instruction from the Ten Commandments to 1 Timothy 6:6-10 and Hebrews 13:5, these five questions could take you less than one minute to get through.

But spend as much time as you need to honestly challenge yourself on greed.

The ‘Am I Greedy’ Test

1. Am I never satisfied, no matter how much I get?
2. Do I define success by money, not fruitfulness?
3. Do I spiritualise my spending?
4. Do I hold back from generosity?
5. Do I invite God into financial decisions?

God and Jesus celebrate faithfulness, generosity, fruitfulness and ‘godliness with contentment is great gain‘,

Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.

Feature image: Canva

It’s almost a cliché that therapists want to ask about your childhood. But have you ever wondered why we’re so interested?

It’s because childhood is the foundation of our inner world. Those early years are when we first start building a sense of self, learning how relationships work, and figuring out what the world is like. The impressions we form, either positive or negative, don’t just disappear. They echo into adulthood, sometimes in the form of encouragement, but sometimes as the harsh voice of an inner critic.

Where That Inner Critic Comes From

Many people are familiar with the inner critic, that voice that says things like, “You’re not good enough,” or “You’ll never get it right.” For some, this inner critic developed because of the messages they absorbed in childhood.

Psychologists call this internalisation. It’s when words, attitudes, or beliefs from others become part of our own self-talk. What started as someone else’s opinion can gradually turn into “this is who I am.”

Of course, not everyone grows up hearing negative or critical messages. Some children are surrounded by encouragement and warmth, which lays a different foundation. But for those who did experience prolonged criticism, neglect, or inconsistent care, internalisation can leave lasting marks.

Messages Aren’t Always Spoken Out Loud

It’s also worth remembering that not all messages are spoken out loud. Children absorb meaning from attitudes, behaviours, and situations just as much as from words. A parent’s constant irritation when a child needs help can be taken as “I’m a burden,”withdrawing affection after mistakes might feel like “I only deserve love if I’m perfect,” and being overlooked in favour of a sibling can quietly send the message “I’m less important.” These unspoken cues can be just as powerful in shaping self-worth as direct criticism.

Why Childhood Messages Stick So Deeply

1. Kids’ brains are still developing
   A child’s brain is wiring itself at an incredible pace, making them especially open to influence. What they take in, whether words, behaviours, or subtle cues, literally helps shape the brain’s patterns for thinking, feeling, and reacting.
2. A still-forming sense of self
   As mentioned previously, children don’t yet have a clear boundary between “what others say or show me” and “who I am.” Because their identity is still fragile and flexible, outside labels or attitudes can easily harden into self-concept.
3. Caregivers are powerful “truth tellers”
   Parents and caregivers don’t just guide; they define reality for a child. Their responses carry enormous weight and are often taken as fact.
4. Sometimes, a coping strategy
   In difficult situations, some children may find it less frightening to think “I’m the problem” than to confront painful truths like “my parents don’t love me.” While this kind of self-blame helps a child make sense of things, it can create long-term self-criticism.

The Impact of Childhood Experiences

For people who did internalise negative messages, those early experiences can grow into a strong inner critic that lingers into adulthood. Even when life circumstances improve, the echoes of those words may continue to influence confidence, relationships, and self-worth.

How to Loosen the Grip of the Inner Critic

1. Notice the voice
   When self-criticism shows up, pause and ask: “Whose voice is this? Is it mine, or something I picked up long ago?”
2. Reframe the message
   Try swapping harsh judgments with something kinder. Instead of “I’m such a failure,” try “This is hard, but it doesn’t define who I am.”
3. Practice self-compassion
   Treat yourself the way you’d treat a good friend: with patience, understanding, and encouragement.
4. Seek support if needed
   For some, the inner critic runs deep. Therapy can help untangle those old patterns and support healthier ways of relating to yourself.

Not everyone grows up with the same kind of messages. Some are fortunate to receive mostly positive, encouraging voices, while others carry the weight of harsher ones. Wherever you fall on that spectrum, it’s worth remembering: the voices you internalised as a child don’t have to define you as an adult. By becoming aware of them, reshaping your inner dialogue, and practicing self-compassion, you can quiet the critic and create a kinder, more supportive relationship with yourself.

Article supplied with thanks to The Centre for Effective Living.

Feature image: Canva

Think back to a time when you were misunderstood.

What did you do next? Did you blame the others involved, either out loud or internally?

Or did you try what author Caroline Spencer suggests – in the title of her new book, Getting Over Yourself?

As Caroline said in our interview, she promotes “getting over yourself” by being deliberate, structured and disciplined about reflecting upon our interaction with others. If we pursue these opportunities for personal growth, she says, it can help us to live “more in tune with our principles and values”.

“For me, as a follower of Jesus, that means becoming more like him,” Caroline said.

The Four Stages of Self Reflection

Having spent years as a Christian communicator and leader with City Bible Forum and Moore College , Caroline says she has been diligent in her own process of letting go of self.

“I work on a healthy self-reflection habit,” she said. “I pick an experience I have had that bothers me for some reason, and there are four stages which I do.”

As outlined in detail in Getting Over Yourself, Caroline’s stages of self-reflection include scrutinising the experience, recognising what was important to her at the time, and assessing opportunities for growth.

“As a follower of Jesus, how does the Bible want me to live. [I ask myself] is there some sort of gap there in terms of how I was in that experience?” she said.

Such thorough self-examination can lead to changed behaviour in future interactions.

Caroline gave the example of how much she had recently ruminated on a meeting where she felt misunderstood.

Applying the steps of Getting Over Yourself helped her to realise the emphasis she had placed on being understood by all.

Further, she “looked for the good” from the experience, to combat her drift back toward its negative elements.

Encouraging us to “get over yourself” in all areas of life, Caroline has noticed changes in the outcomes of her interactions.

“Doing the self-reflection teaches me to ask more questions of my experiences, to challenge my assumptions, and to try to see things from different points of view,” Caroline said.

“I’ve noticed that I have taken those learnings into conversations with people. I’m better at listening now. I’m better at asking questions and hopefully making less assumptions.”

Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.

Feature image: Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash