While church and youth group helps, the biggest influence on a child’s faith comes from home.

Parents play a vital role in shaping their children’s values and beliefs. While churches and youth groups help, the biggest influence on a child’s faith comes from home. As Pastor Joel Chelliah put it, “The number one influence of a child under 12 is actually the parents.” So, how can parents lead their family in faith?

The First Church: Your Home

Many parents assume taking their kids to church is enough. But a child’s primary experience of faith starts at home. “The first church that we are to lead is our own families,” Pastor Joel explained.

Children mimic what they see. If parents live out their faith daily, kids notice. “You see that pretty quick in your kids when you’re maybe passing on things you don’t want them to pick up,” he joked. Kids are like little mirrors, reflecting what they see in their parents.

Practical Ways to Lead in Faith

Being the spiritual leader in your home doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are two simple ways to incorporate faith into daily life.

1. Make Prayer a Daily Habit

Prayer doesn’t have to be long or formal. It can be as simple as a 30-second prayer in the car before school. Pastor Joel shared, “It’s amazing because I find out what’s going on in the hearts of my kids.” When kids pray, they reveal their worries and hopes, giving parents a chance to support them.

Other moments to pray together include:

• At the dinner table
• Before bedtime
• When facing challenges

This consistency teaches kids that prayer isn’t just for emergencies—it’s a daily part of life. “It’s not a last resort; it’s a first step,” he added.

2. Read the Bible Together

Reading the Bible as a family helps children grow spiritually. Pastor Joel shared their rule during school holidays: “No Bible, no play.” Their children would spend at least ten minutes reading Scripture before playing.

For kids who struggle with reading, audio Bibles are a great alternative. “I can hear them listening to the app,” they said. Even small moments—five minutes here, seven minutes there—help build a strong foundation of faith.

Small Steps Make a Big Impact

Raising children in faith doesn’t require hours of daily devotion. Simple habits, like short prayers and Bible reading, make a lasting difference, and help parents lead their family in faith. Over time, kids learn that faith is a natural part of life, not just something for Sundays. “You just watch your kids grow up in a way that carries the faith we’re supposed to carry,” Pastor Joel noted.

By leading in faith at home, parents equip their children with the spiritual tools they need for life.

Feature image: Canva

Starting school can be overwhelming. Thankfully, there’s help available.

Local mum, educator and founder of The Reading Village Kellyanne Cazeau has 16 years of classroom experience. 

Her advice to parents and carers with children starting school in the next year or so is simple – start now.

It’s a marathon, not a sprint

“I first want to preface this by saying, please don’t think about doing this the week before school starts. This is year long… think of it long term.”

She explained that preparation actually begins much earlier than many would think.

The reason for this extended timeline becomes clear when considering what school demands of children: “School is a massive change for children just because of the length of the day and also what it’s requiring of them emotionally, mentally, socially.

“It’s so demanding. And many Prep children have meltdowns every day.”

Independence is Key

Rather than focusing solely on academic skills, Kellyanne emphasised the importance of fostering independence: “One of the best ways you can prepare your child for the first year of school is to help them to become more independent.

“They’re not going to have you with them all the time as a shadow.”

She suggested practical ways to build independence: “Ways we can help them become more independent is to give them opportunities to be away from you, their main caregiver.

“If they’re not going to kindergarten already, maybe it’s play dates with a friend. There’s lots of different opportunities.

“But also give them independence with opening their lunchbox and doing up their bag.”

For parents worried about certain skills, Kellyanne offered reassurance: “Shoelaces isn’t a big thing because you can have Velcro.

“But making sure they can toilet themselves properly. Just giving them as many skills as you as you can for them to be able to be independent and to communicate what they need to their caregiver.”

Preparing for social challenges

Drawing from her experience as a mum, Kellyanne shared specific social preparation needs: “In my case, I have an only child, so socially I needed to prepare him in being able to take turns sharing.

“This is going to be taught in school anyway, so they don’t have to have it all perfect, but just preparing them as well that it’s different from home.”

She explained a crucial reality children need to understand: “The teacher has 20 plus kids in front of them, not just you.

“So you may not be heard straight away and you’re going to have to wait to be heard.”

Better Ways to Connect after School

Many parents struggle with getting information about their child’s day.

Kellyanne offered practical advice based on her own experience: “My son does not want to talk as soon as he jumps into the car.

“Timing is key. Asking them as soon as they’ve hopped in the car is probably not the best time.”

She suggested being more strategic with questions: “Also being more specific with your question… if you know their timetable, that they had Art today, that they had PE today…

“Are you trying to find out how they’re doing emotionally, or are you just trying to build connection with them?”

Kellyanne reminded parents that connection doesn’t have to come through questioning: “We don’t have to build connection by asking about their school day.

“It could just be by going for a run with them or kicking a ball with them.”

For parents who do want to ask about school, she recommended specific questions like: “who did you play with today?”, “did you have fun playing that?”, “what did you guys do?”, “how was sport today?”, and “what did you learn?”

“They’re more direct questions than how was your day?”

Managing Separation Anxiety

For children who struggle with being away from their parents, Kellyanne shared practical strategies from her own experience: “Some things that I do for my child is to leave something with him that reminds him of me… little love notes in their lunchbox… he can read now, so that’s great.

“It could be a photo of the two of you. It could be just a little trinket… I’ve got a little stone love heart that I give him.”

The purpose of these items is clear: “Just things that, when he’s thinking of me or he needs something to connect with me, he’s got that in his pocket.”

Parents need support too

Kellyanne was honest about her own struggles and how they affect children and she encouraged parents to seek their own support: “Do whatever you need to do to feel supported with letting go. Cause it’s hard. It’s really hard.”

The challenge of losing control was something Kellyanne related to personally: “It’s so hard letting go and wanting to be in control. I’m a control freak.

“When you send your child to school, you do not have control over their day at all.”

Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.

Feature image: Canva

About the Author: Joni Boyd is a writer, based in the Hawkesbury Region of NSW. She is passionate about the power of stories shared, to transform lives.

As the December 10 social media changes draw closer, many Australian families are asking the same questions: Who will be affected? How strict will the rules be? And what does it all mean for our kids?

Nicole Jameson is a digital safety expert from Dark Horse Agency, she unpacks the facts. Here’s what you need to know, and how to prepare.

Under-16 Accounts Will Be Deactivated

The first major step of the new restrictions lands on 10th December, when social media platforms begin deleting or deactivating accounts belonging to users who have identified themselves as under 16.

According to Nicole, that’s:

• 150,000 young users on Facebook, and
• Around 350,000 under-16s on Instagram.

That’s a massive shift – and only the beginning.

But Kids Have Already Found Workarounds

While the goal is to protect children, teenagers have had 12 months’ notice, and many have used it creatively.

Because kids often don’t mind losing old photos or videos, many simply:

• Created new accounts with fake ages, or
• Adjusted their birth dates to look older.

Platforms will conduct a “second wave” scan later to detect accounts that changed dates historically, but for now, many young users may slip through unnoticed.

Age Verification Rules Are Still Murky

One of the biggest concerns is the vagueness of the legislation.

Originally, the government planned to manage age verification. Now, tech companies must take “reasonable steps”, a phrase that leaves plenty of grey area.

Nicole explains that verification will require more than a simple checkbox. New sign-ups will need some form of identification, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be government-issued.

However, very few IDs list a date of birth and are not official documents.

What Identification Will Kids Need?

This remains unclear, but possible IDs may include:

• Student IDs (many include date of birth, especially if linked to bus passes)
• Passports, for those who have them
• Learner’s permits, but only in some states and usually only from age 16

But Here’s The Big Concern:

Providing ID hands tech giants more personal data, including location, school details, and biometric data linked to photos. Nicole warns that such information allows extremely targeted advertising to teens once they re-join platforms at 16.

Are Adults Affected Too?

Yes – new adult accounts created after December 10 will also require age verification.

Nicole strongly encourages anyone with a small business or public profile to download their data now, just in case accounts are accidentally swept up in the deactivation process.

Existing accounts should remain untouched.

Different Platforms, Different Requirements

Because platforms are privately owned, each one is setting its own rules.

Most will require official identification – but some are taking it further. Nicole highlights one concerning case:

Snapchat may request:

• Identity documents
• Biometric facial data
• Bank account details

That last requirement raises major questions about safety, privacy, and necessity, especially for everyday users simply trying to access a social platform.

What About International Comparisons?

Australia isn’t the first country to introduce these measures.

The UK launched similar rules under the Online Safety Act, which also restricts underage access to adult websites. While under-age traffic dropped significantly, the use of free VPNs skyrocketed 1,000–1,800%, suggesting teens quickly found loopholes.

Nicole worries Australia may see the same, pushing young people “underground” into riskier online spaces.

So What Can Parents Do Now?

Despite the uncertainties, Nicole says there is good news.

1. Talk with your children.

Make space at the dinner table for regular, honest conversation about:

• What platforms they use
• Who they follow
• What they might encounter
• How to respond to unsafe situations

2. Stay informed.

Follow reputable sources like:

• eSafety Commissioner updates
• Tech-safety educators
• Experts who break down emerging trends and risks

3. Learn the platforms yourself.

Nicole often hears parents say, “I don’t care about TikTok” or “I think social media is stupid.” But kids don’t agree. Understanding their digital world helps you guide them confidently.

It’s Not All Bad News

Social media, used safely, still offers:

• Community
• Creativity
• Connection
• Opportunities for learning and support

As Nicole reminds us, there are always two sides to the coin.

With major changes coming on December 10, families will face new challenges, but also new opportunities to build trust, connection, and digital awareness.

Nicole will return to Table Talk in 2026 to share updates on how the rollout is tracking. Until then, proactive conversations and informed choices remain the best tools for keeping our kids safe online.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

Feature image: Canva

Ever look around and feel like chores never end? Child learning specialist Natalie Nicholls, from PLECs Learning, says the fix might only take one minute. 

She explains, “Do it straight away or it never gets done.” That simple mindset shift can completely change how families manage daily chaos.

How It Started

Natalie came up with the idea after noticing everyday clutter building up at home. “Towels on the floor, dishes in the sink, coffee machines left dirty,” she said. “I thought there has to be a better way.”

Instead of blaming bad habits, she wanted to understand the “why” behind them. “When we look at why something happens, instead of labelling it as bad behaviour, we can make real change.”

The Brain Science Behind It

Our brains can only handle so much information at once. “When we have too much to do, our working memory overloads,” Natalie explains. “That’s when little jobs like paying a bill or wiping the counter get parked.”

But these “parked” tasks don’t disappear. They keep looping in your brain, eating up mental space and energy. “When you finally do them,” Natalie says, “you close that loop and get a hit of dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical.” That quick win makes you feel good and reduces stress.

Why It Works

The One Minute Rule helps families stay calm and organised because it reduces cognitive clutter.

“Even though we think we’re not using energy, those unfinished tasks still drain us,” Natalie says.

By acting immediately on small tasks if it takes less than a minute you free up your mental bandwidth.

She adds, “It’s not about perfection. It’s about awareness and small, consistent action.”

Putting It Into Practice at Home

Natalie encourages families to make it a fun challenge, not a punishment. “We said, let’s all try something new we’ll hang up towels, put dishes in the dishwasher, wipe the coffee machine straight away!”

Her advice:

• Start small. Focus on one area like laundry or dishes.
• Get everyone involved. Make it a family effort.
• Celebrate small wins. Say “great job” when someone follows through.

“When we all do it together,” she says, “it becomes a team habit instead of nagging.”

Natalie noticed a huge difference in her home. “It’s less to think about, less to nag about and the house feels calmer,” she says. Doing things right away removes background noise from your brain. “You’re retraining yourself to see something, do it, and move on.”

The Takeaway

The one minute rule for families is more than a cleaning tip it’s a mindset. As Natalie puts it, “There’s always a solution to every problem. It might not be the one you want, but there’s always a way.”

So next time you see that small task do it straight away. It might only take a minute, but it could change your whole day.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

Feature image: Canva

As Father’s Day approaches this year I’m pausing to consider whether I’m being a good father and how that responsibility ranks alongside all the others I hold at work and in life. 

I don’t just want to be a good father; I want to be a good husband, a good member of my community, a good leader, a good son… maybe I want too much?!

Can you relate?

With so many varied responsibilities, how can we prioritise these different realms of life and ensure that we’re investing where it matters most?

As I’ve been reflecting on this lately, I’ve found it most helpful to think about Connection and Direction. 

For me, these two ideas have been key to making sense of where I put my energy—and how I lead the people closest to me, at home and at work.

Connection

Human beings are hard-wired for connection.

There is increasing understanding in our world about the power of connection. I’ve been significantly impacted by Gabor Mate’s work on addiction and connection. He writes: “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it is connection.” He suggests that many maladaptive coping behaviours, addiction included, arise from attempts to soothe the pain of disconnection and isolation, not simply from underlying disease or moral failing. 

The value of connections—especially with our spouses and children—is hard to overstate, but the real challenge is learning how to prioritise between them.

On Father’s Day a few years ago, my then Pastor preached a sermon entitled, “How to be the best dad?” his conclusion has stuck with me since, “love your wife.”It’s radically counterintuitive. We tend to think that to be the best dad, I have to do stuff with my children – spend time with them, buy them ice cream, sit on the couch and hug them – these are all great things!  

But even more powerful is looking after your wife’s needs. Spending time investing in a real relationship with her and making sure her cup is full. It’s a strange principle, but getting that one key connection right has significant ramifications for all of the others. 

So if you’re struggling to work out how to be a good father this Father’s Day, go and love your wife well. (equally true for any wives reading this and thinking about how to love their husbands). 

In the same way, leaders who strengthen their central relationships at work set the tone for the health and unity of the whole organisation. When you intentionally strengthen your most vital connections—such as your core team—the health and resilience of the wider group are transformed.

Prioritising connection is important, but I think it’s only half of the puzzle. Of equal importance is the question of direction. 

Direction

If our connections are like ties that bind us with others, it follows that the direction in which we are pulling becomes the way that we are leading others.

As you are leading your spouse, leading your kids or leading your teams, where are you pulling?

I don’t mean “What is your career path?” or “What is your 10-year plan?” but what is the general direction and bearing of your heart? What is guiding your decision-making and your values and convictions in life? What voices are you listening to and letting influence you?

Speaking of influence, I’ll never forget something I heard a few years ago that the most influential leader in your life is YOU! 

Think about that for a minute, of all the things you and I consume, all of the noise from the influencers and content-creators, it all goes through one giant filter – ourselves! 

If that is true, then one of the key questions we have to be asking ourselves regarding our direction is “How am I leading myself?” 

I don’t know if you’re anything like me, but leading myself is much harder than it sounds.

We’re a forgetful people. We have good intentions, but then we get sidetracked. We put resolutions in place, only to break them. We pursue the shiny things our eyes are attracted to, instead of the truly good. We chase quick fixes rather than purposeful investment that requires sacrifice.  

While this may seem depressing at first, I want to submit to you that it is, in fact, the opposite. While we’ve just said leading yourself is not easy, if we can get this right, I believe it holds incredible synthesising power. To go from trying to lead many different people in multiple different ways to focusing on getting the one most important thing right.

Personally, for me as a Christian, I place my highest priority in following in the direction God is leading me. As I set His voice above all others in my life, it has this miraculous ability to get me moving in a direction that then brings alignment and direction to my countless other connections, including my wife, my children and those I lead in the various facets of my life.

As a leader, the direction you set for yourself doesn’t just guide your own life—it ripples out, influencing the vision, morale, and effectiveness of everyone connected to you, both at home and in your organisation. 

While I’m wrestling this year with how to be a good father and leader, here is my conclusion:

Being a good father and leader is a worthy endeavour, but I’m not strong enough or proactive enough to take good care of hundreds of healthy connections and the responsibility for leading others. So in my own life I am trying to just focus on these key things:

Focus on my closest connections. Prioritising my wife and kids above all others gives me strength to lead with confidence across many other spheres.  

For my direction, I look to God. By listening to Him above all others and following His lead, the other things seem to fall in their right place. “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” – Matt 6:33.  

Whether you’re leading a family or a team, the choices you make about where you invest your focus and how you chart your course will shape the culture and well-being of every circle you influence.

I pray that wherever you are and whatever your relationship with fatherhood may have looked like, these reflections encourage you and help move you in the right direction, too.

Article supplied with thanks to Rhema 99.7.

Feature image: Canva

In the hushed corridors of maternity wards across the developed world, something remarkable is happening.

With each passing year, fewer cries of new-borns echo through these halls—yet paradoxically, in countries like Australia, there is a greater number of babies are being born than during the celebrated baby boom of the 1960s. Despite this, the total fertility rate continues to drop.

This is the puzzling reality of our modern fertility landscape. In 1960, the total fertility rate was 3.3 children per woman on average across OECD countries. Fast forward to 2022, and that number has declined to just 1.5 children per woman.

Australia’s story mirrors this global shift. From 1961 when the fertility rate peaked at 3.55 children per woman, we’ve witnessed a steady decline to today’s historic low of 1.5. But there’s a nuance to this. Despite this dramatic drop in family size, and birth rates at an all-time low, the number of births is higher than the historical baby boom. In 1961, 239,986 births were recorded. Today 50,000 more births were recorded than in 1961 (286,998).

The Population Paradox

Today’s birth rate of 1.5 is below the replacement level, which is an average of 2.1 births per women.

The current birth rate of 1.5 children per woman seems robust when counting total births, but it falls short of the replacement level of 2.1, the number needed for a population to sustain itself without immigration. This isn’t a recent change; Australia has been below this threshold for the last 50 years, since falling under 2.15 in 1975. In 2008, following the introduction of the baby bonus, fertility rates climbed to 2.02—tantalizingly close to replacement level. But the trend didn’t last.

An Ageing Population

A low fertility rate does more than change family dynamics – it gradually reshapes the structure of society in ways that touch everything from healthcare to economic growth.

If Australia’s fertility rate continues its downward trajectory at 1.5 children per woman, we face a future where grey hair becomes more common than childish laughter. Based on its current trajectory, by 2026 it is expected that those aged over 65 will outnumber children under 15 .

This represents a fundamental shift in the population pyramid as it becomes inverted, where young workers will be required to generate more economic output to support both themselves and a growing cohort of retirees.

The implications of this are that working-age Australians will shoulder increasingly heavy burdens – funding pension systems, staffing healthcare facilities, and maintaining economic productivity while caring for an expanding elderly population.

Changing Attitudes Towards Parenthood

Despite declining fertility rates, Australians still want to be parents. The dream of family hasn’t faded – it’s just being reimagined for the modern era.

According to our nationally representative survey, 62% of Australians are parents already, while 18% hope to be in the future. Only 12% have deliberately chosen a child-free life, while 5% are unsure if they want children. For 3% of Australians, they wanted to, but they couldn’t have children.

At the same time as the fertility rate has been declining, society’s attitudes towards parenting have also been changing. Three in five Australians (59%) strongly or somewhat agree that there is an expectation to establish a career and be financially stable before having children.

While 64% strongly/somewhat agree that there is a greater responsibility for raising children to be shared equally between the partners, this is not always the case. Despite greater participation of women in education and the workforce, women are often still carrying a greater share of the domestic and unpaid labour of the home, and it is young females under 35 (66%) who are most likely to agree that society doesn’t place enough value on the sacrifice to have children (compared to 46% under 35 males).

Today, many look for personal fulfilment outside of having a family, and having children is something that young adults are now encouraged to intentionally question (41%). Alongside this, while many believe the joys and rewards of having children are well celebrated (62%), half believe that society doesn’t place enough value on the sacrifice to have children (53%)

Based on its current trajectory, by 2026 it is expected that those aged over 65 will outnumber children under 15.

Finances Are The Driving Concerns Around Having Children

Stability and confidence are the driving considerations when embarking on the journey of parenthood, particularly with regards to finances and affordability. Nearly half of all Australians (49%) cite the cost of raising children as their primary concern about parenthood. This is followed by wanting to be financially secure before having children (33%) and economic uncertainty (28%). A quarter are concerned about the state of the future world (26%) and falling short as a parent (25%).

The story of Australia’s fertility landscape is one of striking contradictions. While birth rates have fallen to historic lows of 1.5 children per woman, the actual number of births exceeds that of the baby boom era. Meanwhile, the desire for parenthood remains strong, yet financial concerns cast shadows over these aspirations.

If the current cost to parenthood is perceived to be too high, policies that can practically ease the financial and emotional costs to having children, could be considered. Alongside rebuilding the social conversation around valuing strong families and celebrating the joys and beauty of family life.

Article supplied with thanks to McCrindle.

About the Author: McCrindle are a team of researchers and communications specialists who discover insights, and tell the story of Australians – what we do, and who we are.

Feature image: Canva 

Part of my day job sees me lucky enough to spend time with teens. I have run media literacy seminars for students, in schools around the world, for a number of years now.

Whenever I ask a group of tween or teen boys what they think the main area of body focus is, for boys, they yell out, ‘A six-pack!’ (I’ve even heard 9-year-old boys talking about and trying to compare their six-packs.) This line is the same, whether I am in Zimbabwe, New Zealand, the USA or Australia.

When given the opportunity, a whole lot more gushes out. As if a sudden crack in the wall has given them freedom to leak what’s on their minds – “Boys have body image issues too!”

Our general silence on this leads our boys to believe they are the only ones worrying. Now, they’ve finally been given permission to talk about something they are struggling with. The words come – biceps, jawlines, athletic builds, calf muscles, a broad chest, the triangular body shape, not skinny, but not too muscular, not ‘this’, but ‘that’… The boys laugh out in relief, and nod along in agreement.

Body insecurity is not just limited to our girls

What boys worry about

Boys have body image issues and are more body conscious than we realise. This is not new, but unfortunately boys are far less likely to address their own body image concerns and are more likely to struggle alone. Because body image issues have long been thought of as ‘a girl thing’. Our boys also tend to laugh off criticism or make a joke to cover up painful comments about their bodies. They carry their hurt in secret.

Boys tend to worry about how muscular they are and whether they are too skinny. Yet, when questioned directly about this, boys admit that extreme exercise and dieting are issues for both genders. Us adults are slower to recognise this as a real concern for boys.

What Boys Believe to be ‘Good’ Bodies

A UK survey reported that although most boys say that looking good won’t lead to happiness, many still believe there is a ‘perfect’ body to strive for. For boys, ‘perfect’ means muscly, lean and athletic. Boys also tend to associate muscles with being masculine. The survey also found a general naiveté among boys about when they are being advertised to, particularly through non-traditional methods such as social media. Yet, apart from their friends, this is the source with the highest influence on how boys judge themselves. Social media influences how they dress and what it means to ‘look good’.

The most fascinating aspect, to me, is that although boys say they are aware that media changes images, they tend to believe that the media changes the way women look more than men. Boys are often shocked by how much the male image has been adjusted, when it is pointed out. Some boys acknowledge that the way the media portrays men is unrealistic and unhealthy, but still say it can be inspirational.

“In this day and age, boys are expected to look their best; there is increased societal pressure placed upon them … There has recently been more of an emerging market for items that were originally almost exclusively used by girls, for example cosmetics products, hair serums and sprays, hair straighteners and body hair shavers. There is some evidence that from as young as 4 years, the pressure is being felt by children too, as some are worried about eating too much causing them to ‘get fat’.

This idea is called ‘normative discontent’. Unfortunately, it is widely acknowledged and accepted that most women experience weight dissatisfaction. However normative discontent is now more pervasive for boys as well. This is considered to be due to the strong stereotypes of how people should look.”

Sarah McMahon, psychologist and director of Bodymatters Australasia

How Body Focus Affects Boys

A US study published in 2019 found that 22% of men aged 18-24 reported muscularity-oriented disordered eating. Paediatricians are now raising concerns over the increase in muscle-enhancing behaviours (steroid abuse, binge eating and exercise dependence) in boys in particular. Essentially, there seems to be a disconnect between the actual and desired body size/shape of boys (much like we see in some girls).

We now know that muscle dissatisfaction (in boys) is significantly associated with psychological issues, alcohol and drug use, lower height satisfaction, sedentary lifestyle, poor subjective physical fitness, and lower life satisfaction.

When Should I Be Concerned About Ay Son?

Muscle Dysmorphia (MD) is a type of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). It is often referred to as “Bigorexia” or “Reverse anorexia” in the media and consists of a preoccupation with not being muscular or lean ‘enough’.  Clinical eating disorders and MD are complex issues, with no single cause identified (and beyond the scope of this blog post). It often includes genetic vulnerabilities, psychological factors and socio-cultural influences (social media and traditional advertising are one aspect of this).

Bodymatters Australasia provides clinical guidelines on these.

In Supporting Our Sons, We Might:

1.   Think about how we comment on other people’s body shape, weight or size.

My number one rule: Don’t comment on other people’s bodies – no matter how much or little they have changed. Talk about people’s character.

2.   Notice how we comment on people in the media. Also, what is our own media diet like? e.g. Shows like Love Island celebrate bodies, outward appearances and hook ups as relationship markers. The objectification of men’s bodies is no different to the objectification and sexualisation of women’s. This is part of discussing media literacy to our boys.

3.   Talk to boys about their emotions. Be open about boys’ and men’s insecurities. Ask men in your son’s life to speak about male vulnerabilities, men’s mental health, expressing big emotions in healthy ways, demonstrating courage in non-brawny ways too, showing love…

4.   Notice (out loud) your son’s character – kindness to siblings / grandparents / strangers, courage when facing a difficult decision, helping around the house, apologies he makes. Notice what his body can DO, rather than how it looks. Notice his effort, team work and reaching his own Personal Best in sport / academics / art – not just his winning.

5.  Focus on activities that get them moving, and food that is nutritious (without banning certain foods). For healthy minds and bodies – not for muscle size or shape.

6.   Model body acceptance yourself. It might be time for parents to ask ourselves: How do I regard my own body? What does my child hear me say about my body? How do I talk about food and exercise in our home? When we model self-objectification boys quickly learn that only certain types of bodies are acceptable, and that appearance is what is most valued by their families.

7.   Connect with your son, in ways that are meaningful to him. Let him know he is both love-WORTHY and love-ABLE

8.   Use family gatherings like, meal times, traditions and holidays, to communicate a sense of family and belonging (even if he doesn’t want to talk).

9.   Engage the support of male mentors. Our boys need to be invited to participate in the lives of healthy men. Rites of passage programs (like The Rite Journey) also teach boys that growing up doesn’t just involve growing muscles and genitals. Growing up looks like growing in character.

10.   Encourage everyday activism. Stay in touch with what’s going on in your child’s world. Encourage teens to balance their social media feed by following positive role models, YouTubers and activist movements. Get involved with activist movements yourself. Like; Collective Shout, eChildhood, Beauty Redefined and International Justice Mission. Talk about the work they do, and explain to your sons why they are important in making changes to the body focused world we live in.

One Last Thought

EVERY body is valuable and important and worthy. Parents and adults, be gentle with yourselves. I know that many of us need to unlearn the destructive messages we were taught. As you support your son, learn to accept your own body in the process.

Article supplied with thanks to Raising Teenagers

About the Author: Collett Smart is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker and internationally published author. She lives with her husband and 3 children in Sydney, Australia. The heart of Collett’s work is to support and bring Hope to parents of tweens and teens.

Feature image: Canva