Susan Woodworth from Walk and Talk Psychology shares why kids lie and how parents should respond and proceed with the situation.

When Do Children Start Lying?

Children can start lying as early as 2 or 3 years old. This behavior is a developmental milestone indicating cognitive growth. Lying involves a skill known as “Theory of Mind,” which is the ability to understand that others have perspectives and beliefs different from their own. This milestone shows that their brain is growing and practicing new skills, such as holding two thoughts simultaneously—the truth and the untruth they present. Lying is also connected to other social skills like empathy, cooperation, and understanding how to influence others.

Understanding Why Children Lie

Lying in children is often impulsive and not about deliberately trying to deceive. Children lie to avoid immediate trouble or consequences, or sometimes to connect socially or hide something they fear. This behavior is part of their cognitive and social development and experimenting with cause and effect.

How Parents Should Respond

Parents should avoid feelings of guilt or shame about their child’s lying, as it is a normal stage in development. It is counterproductive to demand an admission of guilt because this can lead to shame, defensiveness, and arguments. Instead:

• Stay calm and avoid getting pulled into debates over details.
• Focus on moving forward and repairing the situation.
• If the lie caused harm, such as breaking something, guide the child to take responsibility by fixing or replacing it.
• Explore the reasons behind the lying, such as fear of punishment or social pressures.

Guiding Children Toward Responsibility

The goal is not to force confessions but to help children understand and accept accountability for their actions in a supportive way. This builds trust and cooperation rather than defensiveness. If lying becomes persistent and significantly disrupts the child’s life, seeking professional advice may be necessary.

This approach encourages a calm, understanding, and constructive response to lying, helping children learn important life skills and emotional regulation.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

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Susan Woodworth from Walk and Talk Psychology discusses Child Psychology and what certain unresolved emotions look like in adulthood.

Life Colours Your Emotion

“While your feelings are true and valid, they don’t always reflect reality or the truth of the situation,” began Susan.

The Roadmap of Feelings

Feelings of loneliness do not necessarily indicate actual isolation.

“If you’re feeling lonely, it doesn’t mean that you have no friends or that no one wants to talk to you,” she explained, “Loneliness is actually just a sign or a guide. I think of it like a roadmap, a street sign, and it’s pointing you to what you need.

She argued it is actually a way to guide you to connection. 

Boundaries Crossed

Susan said that anger isn’t necessarily a response to being wronged, but rather our boundaries being crossed. 

“Anger comes down to boundaries,” she said, listing further emotions that can often be misunderstood. 

“Shame might be self-compassion you need to be kind to yourself and resentment might mean you need to look at that person that you need to forgive.”

Created to Create

For feelings of emptiness, Susan encouraged a creative outlet to fill that void.

“Anxiety or stress might be telling you to slow down, one thing at a time, and to breathe.”

Recognise the Feeling

Stepping back to figure out what you are feeling creates a space between you and that emotion, said Susan.

“This is so that you don’t get swept up with your emotions and swept away with the whole thing, you create that distance first and recognize that feeling.

Another Point of View

“The second stage is then like a fact-finding exploration,” she continued, “So, it’s curious, gentle questioning, looking for other viewpoints. “Susan said that this can be very useful for children to process and regulate as they look to understand why parents might show certain emotions. It is curious and gentle questioning.

“Maybe my mum isn’t angry at me because I was naughty this morning, maybe she’s just rushing because we’re late for school and she’s not mad at all.”

Feedback for Problem Solving

Finally, Susan outlined the important last step in gathering that information; to feed it back to ourselves and work toward a solution.

“We’ve got to look at it from different angles and then feed it back to ourselves,” she encouraged, “Work out what you need to problem solve.” 

“After you’ve done that,” she concluded, “You have a compass of where you’re supposed to go. Go in that direction.”

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

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When it comes to child development, one of the biggest misconceptions is that all kids should hit milestones at the same time.

But Natalie Nicholls, a learning and education development specialist and founder of PLECS Early Learning, explains why that’s not the case.

“We don’t all develop at the same rate,” says Natalie. “If we did, we’d be like robots. And we’re not.”

In child development, one size doesn’t fit all!

In a recent interview, Natalie explained that children grow in different areas, including physical, language, emotional, cognitive, and social skills. Developmental milestones are not fixed points but ranges of development. Understanding this helps parents and teachers to set realistic expectations.

Nature vs. Nurture: What Shapes a Child’s Development?

Is a child’s development shaped by genetics or environment? The answer is both.

“Studies show it’s approximately 50/50,” Natalie explains. “We’re born with certain skills, but our environment plays a big role in how we develop.”

For example, some kids naturally excel in physical activities. Natalie recalls her nephew, who showed exceptional coordination at a young age.

“He was in a Gymboree class, and he’d grab a ball and throw it across the room. That’s a higher level of physical development than most babies his age.”

However, a child who is ahead in one area might need more support in another.

“If he’s strong physically, maybe his language development needs a bit more encouragement,” she said.

The Pressure to Meet Milestones

Many parents worry when their child doesn’t meet expected milestones. But pushing kids too soon can have negative effects.

“If we put pressure on kids to learn before their brains are ready, we set them up for failure,” Natalie warned. “It creates stress and anxiety—not just for the child but for the parents too.”

Children pick up on their parents’ emotions. If a parent is anxious about their child’s progress, the child may feel that stress too.

“Children’s nervous systems mirror their parents’,” said Natalie. “If we’re stressed, they feel it.”

The Risks of Pushing Too Soon

Trying to accelerate development can backfire. Natalie compares it to a new couple moving too fast in a relationship.

“One person goes all in, and the other pulls back. That’s like school refusal—kids shut down when pushed too hard,” she said. “Would you want to go to work if you felt like you couldn’t do your job? Kids feel the same way at school.”

Instead of rushing development, making learning fun is key. “No child comes home saying, ‘I had an awesome literacy lesson today!’  – unless it was fun,” she laughed.

Learning Is Like Swimming

Developmental skills build upon each other, just like learning to swim: “Freestyle swimming is complicated. Arms move side to side, legs kick, the head turns, and you have to breathe—all at the same time.

“We don’t teach a three-year-old all of that at once. We introduce skills step by step.”

The same applies to reading, writing, and maths. Pushing too hard before a child is ready only leads to frustration.

The Danger of Comparisons

Comparing siblings or classmates can be harmful.

“Often, it’s the parents feeling bad, thinking, ‘Why isn’t my child like that other kid?’” Natalie said. “But making comparisons won’t help the child—it just makes them feel worse.”

Instead, children need encouragement, a supportive environment, and patience.

“We are all still learning,” she said. “Failure is part of the process. It just takes time.”

Remember, every child develops at their own pace. Milestones are guidelines, not strict deadlines. As parents and educators, supporting children where they are at – without unnecessary pressure – helps them grow with confidence.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

Feature image: Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

In a world that’s increasingly focused on grades, milestones, and achievements, it’s easy to overlook something as simple as play.

After all, how can building forts, playing dress-up, or racing around the backyard possibly be as important as learning to read or mastering maths facts?

But here’s the truth — play isn’t just downtime or a way to burn off energy. Play is one of the most essential ways your child learns and grows — socially, emotionally, physically, and cognitively.

As renowned child development expert Jean Piaget once said,

“Play is the work of childhood.”

It turns out, science agrees.

The Science Behind Play

Research consistently shows that play supports brain development in ways traditional academic approaches just can’t replicate.

A landmark study published in The American Journal of Play found that play boosts memory, language development, and creative problem-solving skills. Through play — especially unstructured, imaginative play — kids learn to experiment, take risks, explore new ideas, and figure out how the world works.

Dr. Stuart Brown, a leading expert in play science, puts it this way:

“Play is the gateway to vitality.”

He explains that play, by its very nature, is purposeless, immersive, and fun — and yet, it’s absolutely essential for developing strong social skills, emotional resilience, and even creative thinking.

Play Builds Emotional and Social Skills — One Game at a Time

Let’s be honest — life can feel overwhelming for kids (and adults!). Play gives children a natural, safe way to process their emotions and practise handling challenges.

Take Mia, for example — a preschooler who struggled with big emotions whenever things didn’t go her way in group settings. Her teacher began introducing play-based group activities, like building obstacle courses together and creating pretend stories as a team.

At first, Mia would get upset when her ideas weren’t followed. But through these playful interactions, she gradually learned how to compromise, express herself clearly, and read her friends’ emotions. Play became a safe space to practise social skills in real time, without the pressure of getting it “right.”

This is what researchers call emotional regulation in action — learning to navigate excitement, frustration, disappointment, and joy in ways that build resilience and flexibility.

Cognitive Growth — One Imaginative Story at a Time

Play doesn’t just help with feelings and friendships — it’s a cognitive powerhouse too.

Imagine your child playing “restaurant” with a sibling or friend. To keep the game going, they need to:

• Create a menu (literacy and creative thinking)
• Take orders (memory and communication)
• Set prices and count imaginary money (basic maths)
• Problem-solve when they run out of “pizza” or need to make a tricky customer happy (flexibility and negotiation)

This kind of imaginative play naturally builds critical thinking, language, and planning skills — all the building blocks for academic success, but in a way that feels effortless and fun.

In fact, a study published in Pediatrics found that children who engage in frequent imaginative play score higher on measures of executive function — skills like attention control, working memory, and the ability to shift between tasks. These are the same skills that help kids focus in class, follow multi-step instructions, and adapt to new challenges.

Practical Ways to Encourage Meaningful Play at Home

The good news is — you don’t need expensive toys or elaborate setups to create a play-friendly home. In fact, the simplest kinds of play are often the most beneficial. Here are a few easy ways to foster play-based learning in your everyday life:

1. Prioritise Unstructured Playtime

Children need time to just play — without adult direction or a specific outcome in mind. Whether they’re building forts out of cushions or turning sticks into magic wands, free play builds creativity, independence, and problem-solving skills.

2. Embrace Pretend Play

Encourage your child to create imaginary worlds. Set out dress-up clothes, cardboard boxes, or a pile of blankets and see what they invent. You can also spark their creativity with open-ended questions like, “What would you do if you were a zookeeper for a day?”

3. Play Together

Playing alongside your child strengthens your relationship and models important skills like teamwork, patience, and problem-solving. Whether you’re building LEGO creations, making up silly stories, or playing board games, you’re showing them that play matters — even for grown-ups.

4. Dial Back Screen Time

Screens can be entertaining — and sometimes even educational — but too much screen time can crowd out the kind of imaginative, active play that helps kids learn best. When possible, swap some screen time for hands-on, creative play, whether it’s making a fort, baking cookies, or exploring outside.

5. Focus on the Process, Not the Product

Kids thrive when they feel free to experiment and explore without worrying about getting things “right.” Whether they’re drawing, building, or storytelling, focus on curiosity over correctness. Ask, “What’s your favourite part of what you made?” rather than evaluating the final product.

Play isn’t just a “break” from learning — it is learning.

Through play, children learn how to think critically, manage their emotions, work with others, and navigate the world around them. These aren’t just nice extras — they’re essential life skills that set the foundation for healthy relationships, lifelong learning, and emotional wellbeing.

As Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison reminds us:”Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.”

So the next time your child invites you to join their imaginary tea party, build a spaceship, or chase monsters around the backyard — say yes. Not just because it’s fun (though it is), but because those playful moments are shaping who they become.

And when you embrace play, you’re not just helping your child grow — you’re nurturing connection, creativity, and curiosity in your family too.

About the Author: Sabrina is a pastor and a psychologist who is dedicated to helping people experience wholeness and growth. Passionate about building healthy families, she spends her days raising kids, supporting clients, and creating resources that inspire freedom and hope.

Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.

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