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Are you Fake Resting?

Are you Fake Resting?
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Author: Elaine Fraser.

‘How are you?’
‘I’m busy.’

I was busy for years and before I knew it I was real tired. In fact, I was exhausted. Real-exhausted.

Elaine Fraser

I was working, the mother to two children, had a weekend volunteer position, a leader of mid-week meetings, family responsibilities, exercise and the list went on and on. By Sunday afternoon, my husband and I were real-tired.

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We would crash in bed and sleep the afternoon away before the evening service at church, at which one of us would be ‘working’. Then, come Monday morning, we’d have the usual rush to get to school and work and the whole crazy week would begin again.

Misapprehensions can have devastating effects on how we live our lives. I recently apologised to my daughter for being too busy when she was younger. She was gracious and said, ‘But that was just how life was back in the day.’

I told her that some of that busyness was based on misapprehensions. There are some things that I thought were non-negotiable that I now question.

I’m making space by letting go of certain commitments, expectations, and roles in my life that may have been great at the time, but no longer fit who I am, or how I’m going to live my life from now on.

I’m making space to connect with people I was too busy to spend quality time with before. This is a challenge for me, as I need so much time to write, but without all the other activities that took me away from my core passions, it’s beginning to happen more often.

This question, more than any other in the book Present over Perfect resonated with me: Do you know what it’s like to be rested? Truly rested? … do you know what it’s like to feel connected, in deep and lovely ways, to the people you love most?

Real Resting is having people around who accept me and tell me that my mess is theirs’ and to whom I can say, ‘Your mess is mine’.

Real Resting is found in the knowledge that God’s first response is to rescue me, not tell me off for mucking up–again.

Real Resting is reclaiming the me I’m supposed to be, and not the me others expect, or decide I should be.

Real Resting is found in being vulnerable and soft and reclaiming a God-ward heart.

Real Resting is found in saying yes and no with more thought.

These words from Oceans, by Hillsong United have formed a backdrop to my life the last few months:

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

I’m learning not to fake-rest and fall into bed exhausted and depleted. My life is more rested. There’s more space for what’s important. There’s space for me to say yes to things because I’ve said no to some things. I’m real-resting.

Question: Do you know what it’s like to be rested? Truly rested? … do you know what it’s like to feel connected, in deep and lovely ways, to the people you love most?

Elaine Fraser

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