Raising boys is an exhilarating adventure that often resembles a thrilling rollercoaster ride, filled with ups, downs, and unexpected twists.

From their first steps to their first heartbreaks, every moment is a chance to shape their character and instil values that will guide them into adulthood. As parents and caregivers, we play a crucial role in helping boys navigate their emotions and relationships, ensuring they grow into confident, empathetic men. But what does it truly mean to raise boys who are not only strong and resilient but also sensitive and kind? Let’s explore the wisdom, research, and practical tips that can help us on this journey.

The Science Behind Their Development

Research indicates that boys often experience emotional and social development differently than girls. According to Dr. Michael Thompson, a psychologist and co-author of the book Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, boys are typically socialised to suppress their emotions. This can lead to difficulties in expressing feelings, which may manifest as anger or withdrawal.

Thompson notes, “Boys are often taught to be strong and tough, but this can come at the expense of emotional awareness.”

Studies show that boys may struggle with emotional literacy, often needing more encouragement to articulate their feelings. A report from the American Psychological Association highlights that teaching boys to express emotions can improve their mental health outcomes, reducing the likelihood of anxiety and depression. This understanding underscores the importance of fostering emotional intelligence in boys from a young age.

The Power of Play in Boyhood

Play is an essential aspect of childhood that significantly influences boys’ development. Research by Dr. Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play, emphasises the importance of play in developing social skills, creativity, and resilience. Brown states, “The opposite of play is not work; it’s depression.”

Engaging in play allows boys to explore their emotions and interact with their peers in a safe environment.

Activities like team sports, imaginative play, and outdoor adventures can foster collaboration and help boys learn valuable lessons about teamwork and empathy. As author and educator Dr. Peter Gray asserts, “Children learn best when they are engaged in self-directed play, which allows them to develop important life skills.”

Encouraging Emotional Expression

To raise emotionally healthy boys, it’s essential to create an environment where expressing feelings is encouraged and accepted. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and author of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, advocates for the importance of emotional coaching. He suggests parents validate their child’s feelings, saying, “When parents respond with understanding to their child’s emotions, they help them learn to manage their feelings and cope with challenges.”

After a particularly tough week, I noticed my son was unusually quiet. Instead of brushing it off, I decided to have a “feelings check-in” during dinner. I shared my own emotions about the week and encouraged him to do the same. This led to a heartfelt discussion about his worries at school, reinforcing our emotional connection.

Encouraging boys to talk about their emotions can be as simple as asking open-ended questions during daily routines. For instance, after school, a parent might ask, “What was the best part of your day? What was the hardest part?” These conversations can help boys articulate their feelings and develop emotional resilience.

Role Models and Mentorship

Boys benefit greatly from positive role models and mentors. Research indicates that having strong male figures in their lives can significantly impact boys’ emotional and social development. As author and educator Dr. Niobe Way notes in her book Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection, boys often crave deep connections with peers but may feel pressure to conform to societal norms that discourage vulnerability.

Encouraging boys to build friendships based on trust and emotional support can help counteract these societal expectations.

Engaging in community activities, sports teams, or mentorship programs can provide boys with the opportunity to form meaningful relationships with adult male figures who can offer guidance and support.

Teaching Responsibility and Empathy

Another vital aspect of raising boys is teaching them responsibility and empathy. Research from the University of California suggests that empathy is not a natural instinct but rather a skill that can be developed. Parents can cultivate empathy by encouraging boys to participate in community service or by discussing the feelings and perspectives of others.

As developmental psychologist Dr. Carol Gilligan notes, “The ability to empathise is crucial for boys to develop healthy relationships.” Encouraging boys to consider how their actions affect others fosters a sense of responsibility and moral awareness that will serve them throughout their lives.

As author and educator Dr. Michele Borba asserts, “The greatest gift we can give our children is the ability to love and be loved.” By investing in the emotional and social development of boys, we prepare them to thrive in an ever-changing world, shaping future generations with kindness, empathy, and resilience.

Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.

About the Author: Sabrina is a pastor and a psychologist who is dedicated to helping people experience wholeness and growth. Passionate about building healthy families, she spends her days raising kids, supporting clients, and creating resources that inspire freedom and hope.

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The teen years bring big changes. For girls, those changes often include hormones, periods and powerful emotions.

Read more: Tackling the Tough Teen Girl Hormone Years

While this season can feel overwhelming for teens and parents alike, experts say knowledge, reassurance and gentle support make all the difference. Naturopath Mel, from Natmed talks about teenage hormones, period pain and how families can better support young women through this important stage of life.

Talking About Periods Without Shame

First and foremost, Mel says it’s time to normalise the conversation. “Periods are a normal biological function that happens to around half the population,” she explains. “There’s no shame in talking about them, and knowledge is power.”

Today, girls are starting their periods earlier than previous generations. In some cases, periods can begin as young as nine. However, irregular cycles in the early years are usually normal.

“For example, a girl might have one period and then not have another for many months,” Mel says. “That doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong.”

Hormones fluctuate significantly during puberty. Emotional changes, mild PMS, and occasional skin breakouts are all common. What matters most is perspective.

When to Seek Medical Advice

While many symptoms are normal, there are times when parents should seek professional help. Mel encourages families to look out for red flags, including:

• Period pain that stops normal activities or requires time off school
• Bleeding that lasts longer than seven days
• Severe pain that doesn’t improve with pain relief
• No period by age 15 or 16
• A strong family history of hormonal or reproductive issues

“If period pain is relentless or debilitating every month, that’s when it’s time to speak to a healthcare professional,” Mel says.

How to Start Healthy Conversations With Teen Girls

For many parents – especially dads – talking about periods can feel awkward. However, Mel says open, gentle conversations are essential. “Choose the right time,” she advises. “If your teen is tired, stressed or in public, it’s probably not the moment.”

Instead, start with simple check-ins like “Are you okay?” or “You seem uncomfortable – can I help?” These small steps help teens feel supported and safe to speak up. Importantly, conversations don’t need to happen all at once. Sometimes it takes several gentle attempts before a teenager opens up.

Natural Ways to Ease Period Pain

Mild cramps, bloating and discomfort are common during periods. Thankfully, there are many natural ways to help reduce period pain and support hormone balance.

Magnesium
Magnesium helps relax muscles, including the uterus. Mel recommends magnesium glycinate, around 300mg per day, to ease cramping.

Omega-3 fatty acids
Found in fish oil, omega-3s reduce inflammation and can help with PMS and menstrual pain.

Calcium
Calcium supports muscle function and may reduce bloating and cramping. It’s best taken separately from magnesium for better absorption.

Vitamin D
Vitamin D plays a role in hormone regulation, mood and muscle health, making it especially helpful during puberty.

Iron
Because periods involve blood loss, many teenage girls need extra iron – particularly those who are vegetarian or vegan. Iron glycinate is a well-tolerated option.

B-group vitamins
Vitamin B1 (thiamine) has been shown in studies to reduce period pain. Mel recommends a B-complex supplement rather than a single B vitamin.

Food Choices Matter Too

Diet plays a significant role in inflammation and hormone health. Highly processed foods and fast food can increase inflammation, which may worsen cramps and skin issues. “Do the best you can,” Mel says. “Even simple swaps help.”

For example, choosing a roast chicken and salad over deep-fried options provides protein and nutrients while still being convenient. Hydration is also important, even though getting teenagers to drink enough water can be a challenge.

Drug-Free Pain Relief Options

In addition to supplements and diet, several physical therapies can help relieve menstrual pain:

• Heat packs or hot water bottles relax the uterine muscles and reduce cramping
• TENS machines use gentle electrical pulses to block pain signals
• Castor oil packs may improve circulation and reduce muscular tension
• Ginger supplements (1,000–2,000mg daily) can reduce pain, nausea and inflammation

“Ginger helps reduce prostaglandins, which are responsible for uterine spasms,” Mel explains. Often, a combination of rest, heat, magnesium and ginger can make a noticeable difference.

Supporting Teen Mental Health

Normalising period conversations also supports mental health. When girls feel comfortable talking about their bodies, they’re less likely to suffer in silence. “Be emotionally intelligent,” Mel says. “Read the room. Keep things private and supportive.”

She also encourages parents to explore modern options like period underwear or menstrual cups, which can make periods feel more manageable for teens.

You’re Not Alone

Puberty and periods are a normal part of growing up, but no family has to navigate them alone. With the right information, gentle conversations and practical support, parents can help their daughters move through the teen season with confidence.

And if symptoms are severe or impacting daily life, seeking professional advice is always the right next step.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

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While church and youth group helps, the biggest influence on a child’s faith comes from home.

Parents play a vital role in shaping their children’s values and beliefs. While churches and youth groups help, the biggest influence on a child’s faith comes from home. As Pastor Joel Chelliah put it, “The number one influence of a child under 12 is actually the parents.” So, how can parents lead their family in faith?

The First Church: Your Home

Many parents assume taking their kids to church is enough. But a child’s primary experience of faith starts at home. “The first church that we are to lead is our own families,” Pastor Joel explained.

Children mimic what they see. If parents live out their faith daily, kids notice. “You see that pretty quick in your kids when you’re maybe passing on things you don’t want them to pick up,” he joked. Kids are like little mirrors, reflecting what they see in their parents.

Practical Ways to Lead in Faith

Being the spiritual leader in your home doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are two simple ways to incorporate faith into daily life.

1. Make Prayer a Daily Habit

Prayer doesn’t have to be long or formal. It can be as simple as a 30-second prayer in the car before school. Pastor Joel shared, “It’s amazing because I find out what’s going on in the hearts of my kids.” When kids pray, they reveal their worries and hopes, giving parents a chance to support them.

Other moments to pray together include:

• At the dinner table
• Before bedtime
• When facing challenges

This consistency teaches kids that prayer isn’t just for emergencies—it’s a daily part of life. “It’s not a last resort; it’s a first step,” he added.

2. Read the Bible Together

Reading the Bible as a family helps children grow spiritually. Pastor Joel shared their rule during school holidays: “No Bible, no play.” Their children would spend at least ten minutes reading Scripture before playing.

For kids who struggle with reading, audio Bibles are a great alternative. “I can hear them listening to the app,” they said. Even small moments—five minutes here, seven minutes there—help build a strong foundation of faith.

Small Steps Make a Big Impact

Raising children in faith doesn’t require hours of daily devotion. Simple habits, like short prayers and Bible reading, make a lasting difference, and help parents lead their family in faith. Over time, kids learn that faith is a natural part of life, not just something for Sundays. “You just watch your kids grow up in a way that carries the faith we’re supposed to carry,” Pastor Joel noted.

By leading in faith at home, parents equip their children with the spiritual tools they need for life.

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Susan Woodworth from Walk and Talk Psychology shares why kids lie and how parents should respond and proceed with the situation.

When Do Children Start Lying?

Children can start lying as early as 2 or 3 years old. This behavior is a developmental milestone indicating cognitive growth. Lying involves a skill known as “Theory of Mind,” which is the ability to understand that others have perspectives and beliefs different from their own. This milestone shows that their brain is growing and practicing new skills, such as holding two thoughts simultaneously—the truth and the untruth they present. Lying is also connected to other social skills like empathy, cooperation, and understanding how to influence others.

Understanding Why Children Lie

Lying in children is often impulsive and not about deliberately trying to deceive. Children lie to avoid immediate trouble or consequences, or sometimes to connect socially or hide something they fear. This behavior is part of their cognitive and social development and experimenting with cause and effect.

How Parents Should Respond

Parents should avoid feelings of guilt or shame about their child’s lying, as it is a normal stage in development. It is counterproductive to demand an admission of guilt because this can lead to shame, defensiveness, and arguments. Instead:

• Stay calm and avoid getting pulled into debates over details.
• Focus on moving forward and repairing the situation.
• If the lie caused harm, such as breaking something, guide the child to take responsibility by fixing or replacing it.
• Explore the reasons behind the lying, such as fear of punishment or social pressures.

Guiding Children Toward Responsibility

The goal is not to force confessions but to help children understand and accept accountability for their actions in a supportive way. This builds trust and cooperation rather than defensiveness. If lying becomes persistent and significantly disrupts the child’s life, seeking professional advice may be necessary.

This approach encourages a calm, understanding, and constructive response to lying, helping children learn important life skills and emotional regulation.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

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Yelling at children—especially younger kids—appears to be effective. They stop whatever they’re doing (or not meant to be doing) and start obeying you.

Even so, here’s why experts are recommending we reserve yelling only for when we need to protect them from impending harm or threat (such as when they’re about to run onto oncoming traffic).

1. It’s a Short-Term Solution

While yelling may indeed produce an immediate result, it doesn’t actually address the behavioural problem. In fact, a study on 13-year-olds discovered that the yelling resulted in increased levels of bad behaviour the following year.

2. They Stop Listening

Imagine someone twice your size, face contorted in anger and speaking to you in a loud voice. Surely the only thing you want to do is run away and hide. Even worse, it simply teaches the child to fear you.

3. They Yell Back

Dr Laura Markham is a clinical psychologist and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. “Yelling scares kids. It makes them harden their hearts to us. And when we yell, kids go into fight, flight or freeze, so they stop learning whatever we’re trying to teach. What’s more, when we yell, it trains kids not to listen to us until we raise our voice. And it trains them to yell back,” she writes on her website.

If you’ve ever yelled at your children (and let’s face it, which one of us hasn’t?) be assured you haven’t done irreparable damage. As child psychiatrist Dr Kyle Pruett puts it: “[Thinking you may have done long-lasting damage by yelling at your kid is] a somewhat narcissistic view of parenting. Because there are tons of other forces at work including their own neural-developmental progress.”

So, What Should I Do?

While we really shouldn’t be yelling at our kids, it’s what we do after we yell that matters.

“If we can model apologising when we have done the wrong thing and tell our children the steps we will take to improve and change our behaviour the next time, they learn about growth,” says psychologist Collett Smart.

The secret lies in a concept experts call “rupture and repair”. Reality means that our relationships with our children will rupture at some point (or at many points in a day), through yelling, anger or frustration. The repair is the ability to talk to our children about it after, when we’ve calmed down, and apologise for the fracture. 

Needless to say, rupture and repair isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card. It doesn’t mean we can continue rupturing whenever and wherever. We still need to learn from the mistakes and do better next time. The key is to show ourselves some compassion and be able to move on from whatever we’ve done wrong.

Children don’t need a perfect parent. What they need is a loving, present parent who isn’t afraid to own their mistakes and apologise when they need to.

Melody Tan is a passionate advocate for empowering mothers through connection, faith and digital engagement. She is project manager of Mums At The Table. She lives in Sydney with her husband and their primary-school-aged son.

Article Supplied with thanks to Sign of The Times Magazine

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In 1997, Dr Gary Chapman released the book The 5 Love Languages of Children as a follow-up to his bestseller, The Five Love Languages.

The concepts that Dr Chapman shares in his book are essentially about how to increase a child’s sense of self-worth, love, belonging and role in the family. He narrowed down the ways children feel loved to five key ones (not dissimilar from the original). 

While many parents have reported the book has helped children feel more deeply understood, valued and, most of all, loved, Dr Chapman’s work is not without controversy. Critics have pointed out a lack of scientific evidence to support the theory, its vagueness and potential oversimplification of the categories, and the potential for misuse.

There is however, still merit in the ideas behind love languages in that focusing on them can help you strengthen your relationship with your child. The key is to remember, and as pointed out by Dr Chapman himself, even if your child has a dominant love language, they will benefit from all five ways of receiving love. 

It is crucial that parents still practice all five love languages. Show them love in all the languages and then teach them how to use these for themselves. The value is not only for your children but for the people with whom they will live and associate with.

Here’s a bit more about the five love languages for kids: 

1. Words of Affirmation 

Compliment them or their work. Have interactive conversations with them, both sharing your thoughts. These kids may love a good book, thoughtful gifts which include words, and heartfelt messages (think a note in the lunch box). 

2. Acts of Service

Allow them to help you and offer your help whenever appropriate. Thoughtful acts and unexpected assistance can make them feel like you appreciate them. There are lots of practical ways you can show your child you love them without saying a word. 

3. Gifts

Give them something tangible that lets them know you were thinking about them. Something in their favourite colour, animal they love or food they enjoy to show you know what they like. Gifts don’t have to be expensive or even cost at all. Be creative! 

4. Quality Time

Every child wants to connect with their primary caregiver. Quality time doesn’t necessarily look like hours on end of uninterrupted play, but it does require genuine undivided interest to make it count. 

5. Physical Touch 

All children thrive on physical contact. This could be a pat on the back, a hug, holding hands while going on a walk or a game of tickles.

Ultimately, whether or not you fully embrace Dr Chapman’s theory, intentionally expressing love in a variety of meaningful ways can only deepen your connection with your child and help them grow into secure, compassionate individuals who both recognise and generously give love.

Melody Tan is a passionate advocate for empowering mothers through connection, faith and digital engagement. She is project manager of Mums At The Table. She lives in Sydney with her husband and their primary-school-aged son.

Article Supplied with thanks to Sign of The Times Magazine

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If you’ve ever gone to bed replaying the day in your head, wondering if you were too harsh, too distracted, or just not enough, you are not alone. 

Parental guilt is incredibly common, yet deeply unhelpful when left unchecked. 

Despite the growing number of resources and parenting advice available today, many parents still feel like they are falling short.

The truth is, striving for perfection in parenting is not only unsustainable, it’s unnecessary. Psychological research continues to affirm that what children need most is not a flawless parent, but a safe, responsive, and emotionally available one. In fact, “good enough” parenting is not only acceptable, it is optimal.

Understanding the Guilt Trap

A 2023 study published in the Journal of Child & Family Studies found that over 78% of parents report experiencing frequent guilt. This guilt stems from a variety of sources: working long hours, not engaging enough, losing patience, relying on screens, or simply feeling emotionally drained.

From a psychological perspective, guilt often arises when there is a gap between our “ideal parent” self-the kind of parent we aspire to be – and our real, everyday experiences. 

The problem arises when this guilt turns into shame. As author and researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Guilt says ‘I did something bad.’ Shame says ‘I am bad.’” The difference matters. Guilt can prompt reflection and change. Chronic guilt or shame, however, undermines a parent’s confidence and connection.

The Science of “Good Enough”

The idea of being a “good enough” parent might sound like lowering the bar, but it’s actually backed by decades of solid psychological research.

The term was first introduced by British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott back in the mid-20th century. He found that children don’t thrive because their parents are perfect. They thrive because their parents are reliable, loving, and human. In other words, consistently “good enough.” That means showing up, offering care, and being willing to make things right when you mess up, not avoiding mistakes altogether.

This idea has stood the test of time. More recent research, like Dr. Ed Tronick’s famous Still Face Experiment, showed just how important connection and repair really are. In the study, when a parent stopped responding to their baby, even for a short time, the baby quickly became distressed. But once the parent re-engaged and reconnected, the baby settled. What mattered most wasn’t that the parent never “disconnected,” but that they came back.

Attachment science backs this up again and again: what builds a secure bond with your child isn’t perfection, it’s your ability to reconnect after a tough moment. It’s not about never getting it wrong. It’s about how you handle it when you do.

What Healthy Repair Looks Like

In therapy, one of the most powerful shifts for parents comes when they realise that making mistakes is not the issue. The real growth lies in what happens next. Children are remarkably resilient when they experience relational repair after moments of rupture.

Here are a few simple but effective repair strategies:

• If you raised your voice: “I was feeling overwhelmed, but it wasn’t okay to speak to you like that. I’m sorry.”
• If you overlooked something important to them: “I can see that this mattered to you. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”
• If you reacted sharply when they were seeking connection: “I understand you weren’t trying to upset me. I wish I had responded more gently.”

Repair is not about making grand apologies. It is about recognising our mis-steps, taking responsibility, and reinforcing the message that the relationship is strong enough to withstand difficult moments.

Moving From Guilt to Growth

For parents who find themselves stuck in spirals of guilt, it can be helpful to pause and consider the following:

• Acknowledge the feeling: Label the emotion. “I’m feeling guilty because I care deeply about doing this well.”
• Challenge black-and-white thinking: A single moment does not define your parenting. Reflect on the broader pattern.
• Practice self-compassion: Ask yourself what you would say to a close friend in the same situation. Then say that to yourself.
• Focus on presence, not perfection: The quality of your presence, not the quantity of your performance, is what leaves the deepest impact.
• Return to your values: Instead of chasing external standards, ask what matters most to you and your family. Let that guide your next steps.

As psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy states, “Repair is the heart of secure attachment. It’s not about never messing up. It’s about showing our kids that relationships can handle rupture and come back stronger.”

If you’ve been feeling like you’re failing, this is an invitation to reframe that belief. The very fact that you are reflecting, reading, and caring enough to grow speaks volumes. You are not failing, you are engaging. And engagement, not perfection, is the hallmark of effective, connected parenting.

I’ve written this before, but I’ll write it again. Your children do not need a perfect parent. They need a present one! One who models humility, repair, love, and growth. Every time you return after a misstep, you are building a stronger, more resilient connection with your child.

Good enough really is enough, and often, it’s exactly what your child needs most.

Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.

About the Author: Sabrina is a pastor and a psychologist who is dedicated to helping people experience wholeness and growth. Passionate about building healthy families, she spends her days raising kids, supporting clients, and creating resources that inspire freedom and hope.

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I have been a step-parent for close to twenty years. It’s a unique journey, and no person’s experience will be the same.

No family has a recipe for successfully combining relationships with the other family, adding to the blended family, or navigating the myriad complicated circumstances that can occur with family breakdown. My husband and I both brought children into our relationship. Due to infertility, we were unable to add to our family. When we married, we both became step-parents. I am sharing from my experience things that worked in our house, as well as things we learned from our own family. 

Give the Children Some Agency

If you are starting the blended family journey, something that worked really well for us was to work with our kids on the house rules and consequences. We included our children in the conversation, then made sure we had a couple of posters with the rules up. In a situation where both of them had very little control, it meant they could gain some buy-in.  It also helped with different rules at different homes.  Because the kids had a part in discussing our house rules, it removed ‘well, I can do it at the other house’ from the conversation. 

The Kids Need Time

The kids need time to readjust when they come back from the other family’s house. Even in the most amicable of situations, there are likely to be some different rules and expectations between homes. It can be challenging, confusing, and frustrating for kids to come back, and it takes a minute to adjust. We used to find it took the kids at least a couple of days to acclimatise, which definitely led to some challenging behaviour.

Avoid Being the Disciplinarian 

It may be a controversial take, but as much as humanly possible, for us, it worked to have discipline done by the primary parent. I am not talking about situations where the step-parent was the only one present; if my husband and I were both in the room and something happened with our respective children, we would try to discipline our own. Our role as step-parents was to build relationship. We didn’t always handle this well in our house, and it can quickly lead to resentment when the non-biological parent constantly steps in to discipline unnecessarily. 

Communication Between Partners is Key 

Communicate with your partner. I did not communicate some things that happened early on in our relationship.  It was while we were adjusting to being a blended family, and I was afraid to upset everyone. I was trying to make things work, and I didn’t want to hurt my husband’s feelings. We had already both had a failed relationship, and I was terrified of messing up our marriage, so I kept quiet instead of working through things together. I carried a lot of anxiety in the early days, trying to hold it all together. My husband also struggled with this. It took a while to find a good balance, but communication is key. 

Prioritise Your Marriage

Your relationship with your spouse is primary. My daughter is married now, and we have discussed this in detail a few times over the years.  I did not put my husband first in the early days of our relationship. It had been my daughter and me against the world for a few years, and I jumped too quickly to her defense, often without hearing his side. Sometimes it was necessary, because I understood her unique perspective on life better than he did. But sometimes it wasn’t. When we blended the families, I just wanted everyone to be happy, and at times, that came at the expense of the relationship.

They Are Not Adults

We always tried to keep in mind that the children in our family were just that, children. Children hear everything, even when you don’t think they are listening. There is no place for any bad mouthing, gossip, or abuse of the other parent in front of them. Yours or your partner’s fight with the other parent is not their fight. They, as children, should be able to be children for as long as they can, and part of that is not being dragged into their parents’ adult situation. Doing this is not easy.  Family breakdown comes with all sorts of tension and pain. As a step-parent, there is nothing to be gained by saying horrible things to a child about their other parent. All that will happen is they will resent you. 

Blending a family is tricky. Not only are you bringing the scars from your previous relationship into the new one, even if you have done some healing, the kids can be deeply affected by what has happened in their home. Every situation is completely unique, and step-parenting itself is a unique journey. I have found in my own life and family, it has been a gift. I have learned things about myself that surprised me a good way, but also found some areas that really needed some work. We have developed a strong family bond over time, but it was the insights developed through the ups and downs of the journey that led to this.

Article supplied with thanks to Lorrene McClymont.

About the Author: Lorrene McClymont is a writer and photographer from Hope Images. On her blog ‘Moments to Rest’, she shares about rest, faith, and family.

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It’s one thing to drop your child off at school or daycare and see them wave goodbye. It’s another thing entirely when that goodbye comes with tears, clinging, and pleas not to leave.

Separation anxiety is a normal part of development, especially in young children. But when it starts to interfere with your child’s ability to feel safe or function independently, it can be distressing, for them and for you.

The good news? With patience, reassurance, and the right strategies, your child can learn to feel secure, even when you’re not right beside them.

What Is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety refers to distress or fear when a child is separated from their primary caregiver. It often shows up around ages 6 months to 3 years, but can also appear in older children, especially during life changes such as starting school, moving house, or after a stressful event.

While some anxiety is developmentally appropriate, persistent or intense fear about being apart may indicate Separation Anxiety Disorder. This affects about 4–5% of children, according to the Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne, and may need further support.

Common Signs to Look For

• Crying, tantrums, or clinginess at drop-offs
• Physical complaints (e.g. tummy aches) when anticipating separation
• Fear that something bad will happen to a parent
• Trouble sleeping alone or in their own room
• Avoidance of school, daycare, or social events

What Causes It?

Separation anxiety can be triggered by:

• Developmental stages (especially toddlers and preschoolers)
• Big life changes (new school, new sibling, family stress)
• Parental anxiety – children are highly sensitive to their caregivers’ emotional states
• Attachment disruptions or past experiences of instability or loss

How to Support Your Child (Without Reinforcing the Fear)

1. Stay Calm, Confident and Consistent

Your child looks to you to gauge whether they’re safe. If your goodbye is full of guilt or hesitation, they may feel more unsure. Offer a short, warm goodbye and reassure them:

“I know you’re feeling worried, but I’ll be back after story time, just like always.” Consistency builds trust. As much as possible, keep routines predictable and transitions smooth.

2. Create a Goodbye Ritual

Rituals provide a sense of control and comfort. It might be a secret handshake, a special phrase, or a hug-kiss-wave combo. Familiar rituals create safety and signal that separation is manageable.

3. Don’t Sneak Away

While it might avoid a scene in the moment, disappearing without saying goodbye can increase anxiety over time. Your child may become hypervigilant, unsure of when you’ll leave next. Saying goodbye, clearly and lovingly, helps them build security.

4. Practise Small Separations

Start with short, low-stress separations, like playing in another room or staying with a trusted relative. Gradually build up their confidence. Praise their efforts gently:

“You played with Nana while I went to the shops, that was brave!” This technique, known as exposure and response prevention, is used in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help children face fears gradually.

5. Use Books and Stories

Storytelling helps kids make sense of big feelings. Books like “The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst or “Owl Babies” by Martin Waddell normalise separation and reassure children that love remains even when you’re apart.

6. Check Your Own Anxiety

Sometimes, without realising, our own discomfort with separation can feed our child’s fear. Reflect gently:

• Do I feel guilty leaving them?
• Do I fear they can’t cope without me?
• Am I over-reassuring or hovering?

Children are incredibly perceptive. If you can hold steady emotionally, it helps them feel safe enough to let go.

When to Seek Extra Support

If separation anxiety is persistent, worsening, or starting to affect school attendance, sleep, or social life, it may be time to seek help.

Speak to:

• Your child’s teacher or early educator
• A child psychologist or counsellor
• Your GP or paediatrician

Supporting a child with separation anxiety can feel like walking a tightrope, balancing empathy with boundaries, comfort with courage. But the very fact that you’re asking how to help already makes a difference.

You don’t need to fix the fear overnight. You just need to be present, predictable, and patient. Every drop-off, every “I’ll see you soon,” every time you follow through with your return, it’s all building a foundation of trust your child will stand on for years to come.

Because learning to separate with confidence doesn’t mean loving less, it means feeling safe enough to explore the world, knowing love will always be there when they return.

Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.

About the Author: Sabrina is a pastor and a psychologist who is dedicated to helping people experience wholeness and growth. Passionate about building healthy families, she spends her days raising kids, supporting clients, and creating resources that inspire freedom and hope.

Feature image: Canva

As we head into a new year, many parents are reflecting on family routines and goals for 2026. One common challenge is helping children take responsibility for everyday tasks – like putting away school bags, picking up towels, or tidying toys – without constant reminders. While it may seem like children are acting deliberately, understanding what’s happening in their brains can completely change how we respond.

Learning Intervention Specialist, Natalie Nicholls from PLECS Learning, shared insights about resilient kids and how parents can take a compassionate, brain-based approach to executive functioning as they head into the new year.

Understanding the “See and Do” Approach

Natalie explained that expecting children to automatically complete tasks often overlooks how their brains process information. For example, a child may ignore a school bag left in the hallway, not out of defiance, but because their brain is overwhelmed with other priorities or sensory input.

“When we delve into the why underneath, it helps us get more action and the results we’re actually looking for,” Natalie said.

As we start a new year, parents can shift their perception. Instead of assuming a child is being difficult, ask: What else is going on in their brain right now? Recognising that each child – and adult – is wired differently is a crucial first step toward effective, compassionate guidance.

How Brain Chemistry Influences Behaviour

Natalie highlighted the role of dopamine, a chemical that influences motivation, task initiation, and attention. Low dopamine levels, often seen in children with ADHD traits, can make it harder for kids to start tasks or notice what needs to be done.

Parents can support their children in the new year by:

1. Exploring ways to increase dopamine naturally
2. Using structured strategies to teach children how to see and act on tasks

“We cannot expect a child’s behaviour to exceed the brain’s capacity,” Natalie explained. “This applies to adults too – when expectations exceed capacity, we get stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed.”

Understanding this principle allows parents to approach children with more compassion and less frustration in 2026 and beyond.

Trauma and Neurodiversity: Seeing the Bigger Picture

Natalie also addressed the impact of trauma and neurodiversity. Children who have experienced trauma may react based on the age at which the trauma occurred. Similarly, children with ADHD or other neurodiverse traits may appear hyperactive or withdrawn.

“The brain will go into protective mode,” Natalie said. “When parents are stressed too, their child’s nervous system mirrors that stress.”

Recognising these patterns ensures that teaching moments occur when both parent and child have the capacity to engage, rather than in moments of heightened emotion – a crucial approach to begin the year with calm and clarity.

Practical Steps for “See and Do”

Natalie outlined practical ways to implement this approach as families start fresh in the new year:

1. Check Your Capacity First – Ensure you’re calm before addressing tasks. Teaching when triggered is ineffective.
2. Start Small – Use micro-moments in everyday life. Speak out loud about what you see, e.g., “I see the dishwasher is full. What could we do?”
3. Ask Questions, Don’t Command – Invite participation rather than issuing orders. For example: “Can you help me with the groceries?” instead of “Put the groceries away.”
4. Praise the Action, Not the Person – Focus feedback on specific behaviour rather than personal traits: “You noticed the gate needed opening and did it – great work!”
5. Build Life Skills – These micro-moments teach children to notice and act on tasks independently, a skill that extends to school, work, and life beyond the home.

“This isn’t just about a tidy house,” Natalie emphasised. “It’s about equipping children with a skill for life.”

A Kinder Approach for a Fresh Start

By focusing on compassion, brain capacity, and micro-teaching moments, parents can reduce frustration and help children develop independence as we head into 2026. Natalie’s approach encourages parents to shift perception, ask questions, and provide structured support, rather than relying on repeated commands or criticism.

“The goal is not a perfect house, but resilient kids who can see, decide, and act,” Natalie concluded.

Key Takeaways for Parents This New Year

• Recognise your child’s brain capacity before setting expectations
• Use questions and observation instead of commands
• Praise specific actions, not personal traits
• Focus on micro-moments to teach life-long skills

Implementing these strategies can help families start the new year with calmer routines, stronger bonds, and resilient, capable children ready to face the year ahead.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

Feature image: Canva